What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Sure no problem officer.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

{RING} {RING}

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Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Yes sir it is.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

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I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

HELLO

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do handsome guys intimidate women or people in general?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

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After a few moments he returns.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?